Asking For a Friend | Chapter 63
Advice from Babe to Babe
It’s like the professional version of a “you up?” booty-call text: that 8:00 p.m. message from your boss on a Friday night asking if you can come sling espresso at the shop starting 5:30 a.m. on Saturday because another barista called in sick. You’d be torn (because she needs the day off and you need the extra tip cash)—if it weren’t the fourth time this month you’ve been a last-minute ask. Today, the gurus weigh in on how to handle these flattering (and annoying) requests.
Congrats! You must be a reliable employee if your boss frequently comes to you to cover these shifts. This is obviously a double-edged sword. This is perfect if you want to pick up extra shifts, but if you feel like your boss is asking you at inconvenient times, you have to be honest when you don't want to work. Your company can't expect you to be available during your scheduled time off (and I'm sure it won't be the first or last time they're told no!). If there's a certain time you normally have open in your week though, maybe you can suggest that your boss only reach out when they need a shift covered at that time.
You're only obligated to fulfill shifts that have been assigned to you. If you're like a lot of us and work two jobs, you could resubmit your availability to your boss so they know exactly when is best to approach you. Saying no to a boss can be uncomfortable, but a simple "I can't, I'm sorry," will suffice. If they press you after you've said no or if you feel it necessary, provide the reason why you're turning down the shift. This can be a subtle reminder that you have a life and other responsibilities outside of work. —Lindsay Bowyer
I'd say the best way to set boundaries is simply to say no when you're asked to cover shifts.
Tell them you are unavailable during specific hours and stick to those guidelines. If you need to have a sit-down, just let him or her know you need time to take care of yourself outside of work. If they don't understand that, maybe it’s time for a job search.
Simple: stop saying yes, or give the shifts that you are comfortable to cover. Your time off is as important as your dedication to your employer. Don’t expect them to be mind-readers. If you truly can’t (or don’t want to) cover a shift, then don’t. Constantly saying yes implies you are OK with what you’re agreeing to, and not all bosses recognize exhaustion and burnout in their employees.
Try to think about what you need and then continue to reinforce (vocalize) that need. Don't think about your boundaries as something other people have the responsibility to avoid, but rather a gate that you have the responsibility to manage the entry to. Only you can determine who walks past your boundaries. Only you can determine what is fair for your life. Unfortunately, some people will never "be OK" with your boundaries. However, you set them for you and your wellbeing; that's part of self-care and why boundary-setting is so important. I would challenge you to clearly define the boundary you want to set, vocalize it, and then reinforce.
Just communicate what you’re willing to take on! Perhaps say something like, “I’m really happy to cover shifts, but I’d like to set some structure. I’m willing to consider covering xx shifts per week/month.” Just keep it straightforward!
Until Next Week,
—The BWH Advice Gurus
Asking for a Friend is Babes Who Hustle's weekly advice column that asks and answers the work-related questions on all of our minds.
Looking for advice and guidance? Hit us with all of your workplace-related questions below and stay tuned for next Wednesday's edition!