Asking For a Friend | Chapter 72
Advice from Babe to Babe
Try to imagine a situation in which you ask your husband to pick up granola bars and eggs on his way home from work, and he says, “I can’t—that’s not my job.” Or you get the same kind of response from your teenage daughter when you ask her to swing by the dry cleaner’s for your clothes—or your fellow PTA mom when you’re each signing up for a volunteer role at the school carnival.
We don’t want to be on the receiving end of that attitude (and we know we can’t give that kind of attitude ourselves at work), but the truth is, the little tasks we get asked to do outside our normal workloads can add up quickly—and distract from our actual jobs. In today’s column, the gurus provide advice on that very topic. (Spoiler alert: almost all of it includes having a conversation to confirm priorities.)
It may be helpful to ask your boss, "What's the priority of this?" You can then list off what you're currently working on and ask where the newly assigned task falls into place priority-wise on that list. This will hopefully help your boss realize that you're working on, well, work, and that you have more important things to do (like your … erm … job) than random tasks.
I have one word for this: boundaries. Learning to set, maintain, and communicate boundaries has been the greatest lesson of my professional and personal life. There is definitely an art to it and it is not easy. But try to think of your boundaries as doors that are your responsibility to guard. Not everyone will see the previous "do not enter" signs you put up and it’s not their responsibility to remember lock the door when they leave. We have to politely and continuously remind people they need to ring the doorbell and ask permission to enter in the first place, and make sure we understand and accept the trade-offs when we let people past the threshold.
For this particular type of boundary-setting, I'd recommend making a list of your work tasks (all of them) and their impact on the business. Then, present them to your boss and have a frank discussion about where you should be focusing the majority of your time—and more importantly, where you can de-prioritize tasks. Show them how the "extra" things impact the time you can dedicate to more meaningful work. Show them you've thought about the business (and business outcomes) strategically, and that you are trying to do what's best for the organization. They should be able to hear you better, when the conversation is framed in terms that matter to their performance as well.
Ask your boss to sit down with you to go over priorities. If the tasks they’re asking you to do are more important, express concern that you’re not getting your other work done and share that it may have a negative impact both on your own career and development moving forward as well as the company’s goals.
My guess is that you're part of a team, and sometimes that means doing things that aren't your job. But it's not always fun, and I understand why you're frustrated. If you feel like it's beyond just being a good team player, ask your boss to help you prioritize your tasks, and show her your written list to help her see what she's put on your plate. Perhaps she's giving you things that aren't your job because she thinks you're the only person who can do them (or the only person she can count on to get them done).
What is your job if part of it isn’t doing the things your boss asks you to do? Maybe your supervisor is just delegating you busy work, but it’s much more likely you’re someone they trust to do a job well, and that’s why you’re being given additional tasks directly. This is not a bad thing; the surest way to advance at work is to make your manager’s life easier.
This is a “yes, and” situation. If time stress is the impetus for your concern, remember it’s your boss’ responsibility to set priorities for work they delegate. It’s totally reasonable to accept the work (“yes, I will get this done”), while following up with the question of their desired priorities (“and, which of these things would you like me to focus on first?”)
If “it’s not my job” is your problem—well, considering shifting your own priorities, because if you do say something to that effect in front of your boss, you may not have to worry about what’s your job at all.
Until Next Week,
—The BWH Advice Gurus
Asking for a Friend is Babes Who Hustle's weekly advice column that asks and answers the work-related questions on all of our minds.
Looking for advice and guidance? Hit us with all of your workplace-related questions below and stay tuned for next Wednesday's edition!
