How to Make IRL Connections (When You WFH)
by Becky Burger
Three years ago, I found myself at somewhat of a crossroads in my career.
I was rapidly approaching my two-year anniversary with an apparel tech company in Los Angeles, where I worked as a marketing and business development coordinator. The role was ever-evolving, but international travel remained a constant, including mandatory month-long trips to India, China, and Sri Lanka. When I was promoted to “chief creator of happiness” my friends and family believed that I was living the dream, which turned out to be tragically ironic because—I was miserable.
I was desperate for a job that allowed me to travel, but on my own terms. And that’s when I serendipitously stumbled upon the digital nomad movement. After spending hours reading articles about all the digital marketers, web designers and copywriters traveling the world while working full-time, I knew this was it. This was going to be my next career move.
Shortly after, I resigned from my role as chief creator of happiness to pursue a role as a marketing intern at a boutique agency. I went from being a full-time salaried employee with benefits to a part-time hourly employee earning minimum wage. Finances were uncomfortably tight. But this was my golden ticket, my first real shot at achieving the digital nomad lifestyle. This boutique agency allowed a few WFH (work from home) days a month, and I believed with 100 percent certainty that if I paid my dues and soaked up as much knowledge as possible, I would be able to find another position in a similar industry that would grant me the freedom and flexibility that (at the time) was virtually nonexistent in the apparel industry.
After a year and a half of hustling hard and saying yes to any and every project that came my way, I received a call from an old college buddy who said he had an opportunity that he thought I would be interested in. He mentioned that he perused my LinkedIn and noticed that I was working for a marketing agency, and he asked if I’d be interested in joining his start-up agency as a social media specialist. The best part? The entire team worked remotely. “When do I start?” was all I could say.
I had never been the type of person to set career goals, but landing a remote gig was the first actual goal I set and accomplished. Suffice it to say, I felt like a million bucks. But that million bucks feeling faded hard and fast about six months into the gig. I was living in and working from my boyfriend’s childhood bedroom (mistake number one), and I hadn’t yet realized the importance of setting boundaries or creating a healthy routine outside of work (mistake number two). My social life consisted of rushed morning conversations with my boyfriend and brief interactions with a random barista (on days that I actually went out—mistake number three). I felt so alone. I experienced depression for the first time in my life.
Then, my partner and I moved out of state. It was a move that we had been planning for years, and we were ecstatic that it was finally happening. But this was an entirely new city to us, with new people, but the same work-from-home job. The depression became too much to bear. I realized that if I wanted to get better, I had to put in a concerted effort.
Everything is a constant work in progress and there has been a lot of trial and error, but I have found a few things that have worked for me. And along the way, I’ve met so many hustling babes who have experienced the same exact WFH struggle. So here are a few tips for all of you—the babes who WFH and are just trying to find a little IRL connection.
(1) Start at home
Whether you live in a suburban neighborhood or an apartment complex, building a community in your immediate area is the easiest place to start. Bake a tray of sweets for your neighbors. Invite them over for a game night or craft session. Start a book club. Get the ladies together for wine tasting. If you live in a rapidly developing city, it’s highly likely that your neighbors are also transplants who are seeking a community to call their own.
(2) Join a gym
If budget allows, join a boutique gym (cycling, yoga, barre, etc.)—they tend to put more effort into fostering a sense of community for their members. If your budget is tight and a corporate-style gym is your only option, enroll in the classes they offer and keep your attendance consistent. You’ll start to see familiar faces, making it easier to strike up a conversation. Instructors can be friends, too! Ask them questions, give them feedback, learn about their journey.
(3) Try a friend dating app
Yes, it’s awkward. Yes, it’s time-consuming. Yes, it takes a lot of energy. But as with online dating, it’s a tried and true method. Since joining Bumble BFF, I have come across several women who are new to the city and are familiar with the WFH struggle. I now have regular coworking dates with a dear friend that I met on Bumble. One important note: be sure to set boundaries for yourself. It can be easy to spend countless hours swiping left or right on profiles, and it can be even easier to convince yourself that this is a productive use of time since you’re investing in building a community for yourself. Use the app to lay the groundwork, and then strive to allocate the rest of your energy into developing IRL connections.
(4) Find a coworking space, or become a regular at your local coffee shop
Finding a coworking space may seem like a no-brainer, but the truth is it’s a luxury that not all remote workers have access to. Thankfully, grassroots coworking spaces such as The Riveter are centered around inclusivity, accessibility, and diversity. Outside of their obvious offerings (office/desk space), they host a variety of events that are open to both members and non-members. If working from a coffee shop is more your style, find one near you that has a strong sense of community. Become a regular and don’t be afraid to talk to people around you, not just your favorite barista.
The tips above (combined with a lot of therapy) have helped me find a balance, but I’m constantly seeking ways to get myself out and about. Have any additional tips for babes like me who are hustling from home? Send them my way.
Rebecca works as a marketing strategist, specializing in social media strategy and execution. After graduating from Cal Poly Pomona with a degree in Apparel Production, she found herself yearning for a career in the marketing field, despite having no experience. Since then, she has become a well-rounded marketer that has developed strategies for brands of all sizes. When she’s not behind a computer, you can find her hanging with her dog, reading at a local coffee shop, or adventuring in the mountains.
