by Jessica Kennedy

Mental health matters for each of us individually, but it also matters on a bigger scale, especially during this new world shaped by COVID-19. Taking care of our personal mental health means we can show up in healthier ways for our coworkers, family, and friends. It sounds a little woo-woo, but when you’re in a good place mentally and emotionally, you’re better able to be grateful and send good energy out into the world instead of negative—and it’s less exhausting.

But how can we prioritize mental health without so many of the activities, places, and people that keep us afloat in our normal lives? And how can we accomplish this tall task in the midst of worldwide trauma? We all have a million things on our work, home, or family to-do lists right now, but taking care of your mental health should be topping all of them right now. Here are a few things to try from the therapist who has helped me stay sane through stay-at-home orders.

(1) Decide whether you want to feel better

If you’re having a hard day, the first question to ask yourself is, “Do I actually want to feel better?” If you need a day to wallow in your feelings, take it. But try not to write off more than a day at a time and remember the next day could be completely different.

If you decide you do want to feel better, look for things that can change your energy and help you stop thinking. My therapist suggests using essential oils or incense, music, or rhythmic movement (think a walk or jog through the neighborhood). A short meditation or just a few conscious breaths can calm me down quickly. I use the Breathe app that has several two- to five-minute meditations that are easy to squeeze in throughout the day.

(2) Focus on gratitude

“We’re meant to live with full and open hearts,” my therapist says. “Getting to this place is where we are healthiest.” Worry and stress are well known to weaken our immune systems. But can you just stop stressing? You’ve probably heard it a million times, but gratitude can combat stress in a really powerful way, and it’s worth trying now if you don’t have a gratitude practice already.

Spend a minute or two each day thinking of things you’re grateful for. I recommend writing them down so you have a list to look back on during a hard day. To remember to do it, consider habit stacking. Thinking through what I’m grateful for is the first thing I do before I get out of bed in the morning, but you could add a daily gratitude practice to your morning coffee or your lunch break.

(3) Schedule joy

Sadness and grief can feel like a safe place for many of us. Especially these days, this can feel like the right reaction, which means making time for joy is even more important. Write a list (on paper, so you can put it somewhere you’ll see it!) of the things you can still do that bring you joy. We’re talking small but significant joys: cooking your favorite meal, sitting in the sun, making a fancy tea or coffee drink, cuddling with a pet, taking a bath, or watching your favorite TV show. Then, make a plan for how to get more of these things into your day; schedule it on your calendar if it helps you stick to it.

(4) Make time for social connection however you can

Social connection is a key pillar of human nature. You might already have a good social plan in place by now, but it’s important to keep it up. As many people have said, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t forget about easy social interactions—a spontaneous call to a close family member or friend just to say hi, a webinar or a virtual conference on something you’ve been wanting to learn, a live exercise class. This sounds wild, but my therapist even said watching TV can trick your brain into thinking you’re with people. And, of course, if you can safely get in-person time with a few select people (think, catching up from six feet away in a friend’s backyard), that can be really rejuvenating.

(5) Consider art therapy

My therapist worked for years with children and families, and one of her best tools for getting children to open up is art therapy. It’s easy to do by yourself at home with just a few supplies. She recommends doing one sheet at a time and setting a timer for five minutes. Grab a color (marker, paint, pastels, whatever you have around) that calls to you, move it across the page however feels good, then pick up another color and repeat until the timer goes off. Then turn the page over, title it, and start another. On your fifth one, intentionally pick a color that feels uplifting to start with. My therapist promises I’ll start to see things in the series of sheets, but I’m just enjoying the process for now, which feels important too.

(6) Make a schedule, but keep it flexible

After two days of a fully planned schedule that I failed to stick to, then a whole week of getting barely anything done, I knew neither option was working. Our bodies and minds need some structure, so try to create a schedule that leaves plenty of time to spend in whatever way feels good in the moment. I’ve heard of people scheduling their mornings and leaving their afternoons free, or setting certain days of the week for certain activities (grocery shopping on Mondays, a call with friends on Wednesdays, a hike on Thursdays, etc.) to help with the ambiguous passing of time.

(7) Get clear about your future dreams

When I called my therapist last week, I told her I was struggling with my life being on pause. No dating, no vacations, no family visits, no conferences. No outdoor activities that I rely on to keep me sane. Very little friend time. Everything on my calendar was canceled.

But even though we can’t put a future on our calendars, we can get clear on what we want it to look like. “This is a time to go inward,” my therapist says. If you’re feeling productive, consider applying that thoughtfulness to what you want your life to look like. If you’re missing dating, get clear on what you want in a partner. If you’ve been considering a career change, think through how you want your new job to make you feel. If you were thinking about buying or renting a new home, determine what your nonnegotiables are. Journaling is a great way to shift spurts of energy inward in a way that feels productive for the future.

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As we all try to process COVID-19, it’s clear that what works for one person might not for someone else. These tactics have helped me, but I encourage you to build your own list as a resource to carry you through whatever the coming months might bring.

Having a trusted therapist to help guide me through this process has been a great privilege. Many therapists are swamped with existing and new clients right now, but I recommend looking for one if you’re struggling. Psychology Today has listings of local therapists, and some people enjoy using Better Help or Talkspace. And don’t forget the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 at 1 (800) 273-8255.

Jessica Kennedy is a freelance digital marketer based in Mammoth Lakes, CA. She gave up on what society told her the American Dream was to pursue her mountain dream in the Eastern Sierra. When she's not working, she's getting up close and personal with her fears while rock climbing, skiing or horseback riding. She believes everyone should have a therapist.