“Snowflake” Millennials vs. OK, Boomer: Just, Why?
by Kristen Miller
Don’t look now, but from all indications it seems we’re in the midst of a (literal) war for the ages.
It heated up thanks to the now-viral “OK, Boomer” meme, used by millennials and gen Z-ers looking to express their dissatisfaction with a generation they believe is out of touch with their concerns. The meme has been slowly working its way into everyday life, from a 25-year-old member of New Zealand’s parliament who used it as a retort to shout down a heckler during a speech on climate change, to consumer product marketers looking to capitalize on a popular trend among the younger demographic. But a sustained backlash has also emerged, calling the meme ageist. An executive at AARP trolled back, telling millennials that boomers “actually have the money.” And on ABC’s “The View,” Whoopi Goldberg was not having it as younger panelists Abby Huntsman and Meghan McCain tried to explain the meme’s genesis.
As a woman in the category of generation X (people maligned as “slackers” when we were the new kids on the block and who are now firmly ensconced as the generational Jan Brady between the warring factions) I feel a bit like a conscientious objector. But as someone who also has to function alongside both millennials and boomers in professional and personal arenas, I can’t help but think: What’s the point of all this fighting?
Millennials and boomers both have plenty to contribute to our society. Every time a boomer uploads a picture of his or her grandkids to Facebook, they can thank millennial Mark Zuckerberg (born 1984). And when a millennial gets notified that she has been tagged in Grandma’s post, chances are it’s thanks to a smartphone created by Steve Jobs or a tablet created by Bill Gates (both boomers born in 1955). Gen Z’s Greta Thuneberg (born 2003) has established herself as a thought leader and champion for the environment at the tender age of 16; meanwhile, boomers Al Gore (born 1948) and Darryl Hannah (born 1960) have been speaking out about the preservation of our natural resources for decades.
So why all the turmoil? Sure, it feels gratifying to toss out a witty burn on social media once in a while when you feel your generation is being disrespected. But in the end, no one generation has all the answers. And like it or not, we all need to get along—both for-profit and nonprofit organizations rely on the work of employees and volunteers of all ages. Segmenting ourselves into silos based on perceptions about each other stands to stymie the progress we could be making together.
Having been on the sidelines of a few skirmishes in the generational war, and with the perspective only a non-participating gen X-er gets to have, I’ve come to recognize a few actions we can all take to turn down the heat between the ages.
Listen first, talk later: chances are you don’t know what you don’t know
I recently attended a meeting of a volunteer organization where a newer, younger member made a harmless but ill-informed remark about a decision the group had made prior to her involvement. An older, long-tenured member of the group promptly snapped back, pointing out in front of everyone else that the younger member was uninformed. In the end, both volunteers walked away from the meeting feeling disrespected.
What this situation really needed was a lot of patience. The younger member could have asked a legitimate question if she had questions about the previous decision and allowed other members of the group to fill in the details. And the older member shouldn’t have assumed the younger member’s inquiry was just a snide comment, passing up the opportunity to bring a newer volunteer into the group’s history. In both cases, the speaker didn’t know what she didn’t know, and it resulted in an unnecessarily fractious exchange.
Remember, just because it’s unfamiliar to you doesn’t make it invalid
Boomers sometimes seem flummoxed by millennial priorities; for example, decrying the “side hustle” gig economy as non-serious and an indication that millennials can’t commit to real work. But the professional world looks a lot different for the millennial generation than it did for the boomers when they entered the workforce. There are fewer pension plans, holiday bonuses, promotions, and raises following hard work.
Many millennials struck out on their own out of necessity, others because they wanted the flexibility that comes with being your own boss or craved the variety of using multiple skill sets to pursue different opportunities. And the number of millennial women embracing the gig economy is likely perplexing to boomer women, who had to fight for the right just to enter the corporate world. Seeing millennial women eschew that path in growing numbers must seem unreal to them, but I suspect there are plenty of boomer women who might have made the same choice had their world looked more like it does today. And in fact, more boomers are finding that side hustles can be a great way to earn extra cash for retirement.
Just because someone doesn’t work or think like you, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re wrong. If you’re willing to challenge your own assumptions, you might even learn a thing or two that changes your perspective.
Try to put yourself in the other’s shoes; you might find out how much you have in common
It’s not always easy to understand what someone else is going through, but it’s always worth the effort. For example, one common complaint lodged against boomers is that they don’t understand the financial strain millennials feel today. It’s true that millennials come out of training or college with more debt than ever before. Even during my college years, public assistance to state universities was much more robust and costs of attendance were proportionally lower.
But chances are that millennials also haven’t yet considered how it feels to spend an entire career saving for retirement—even when that meant making major sacrifices along the way—only to watch your savings disappear like they did for many boomers during the Great Recession. With less time to recoup their losses, boomers find themselves under a great deal of financial strain as well, keeping them in the workforce longer than intended.
These two issues have very different origins, but at their core, they speak to the same thing: financial insecurity. Regardless of age, that’s something we can all understand.
I, for one, hope this generational battle ends quickly and without casualties. It doesn’t serve any purpose for us to cut each other down, or reduce entire generations to snappy memes and funny T-shirts. Any organization can benefit from the experience and institutional knowledge of the boomer generation, as well as the fresh ideas and entrepreneurial spirit of the millennial generation. Working in tandem, these former frenemies can power the future for all of us.
Kristen is a management, legal, communications and public relations consultant for Well-Red Consulting and Creative, her new main hustle after several unfulfilling years as an attorney. A native of Louisville, KY, she owns way too many Kentucky Derby hats for someone who is super-allergic to horses. She is an anxious traveler, a bourbon lover, a college sports fan and a music snob. Check out her random musings on Instagram at @kmillerwku.
