by Krystina Wales

Struggling to overcome a challenge in our personal lives can feel taxing and overwhelming. When the fight gets too big for us to tackle alone, we invite others in—be it friends, partners or a therapist. 

When partners experience a tough spot in a marriage or domestic partnership, couples therapy is often a safe place where the individual on the other side of the proverbial couch has the expertise and practice to guide conversations toward resolution. 

Luckily, coaching in a professional setting has become more socially acceptable, and I predict will continue to be even more so as a result of the pandemic. 

In recent years, organizations have begun to view executive coaching or leadership coaching as a tool to develop leaders, rather than just as a punitive measure for a challenging executive. Even independent of your organization, a leadership coach can help you grow and develop professionally in meaningful ways.

My mentor helped me navigate a difficult work situation for two years before she changed careers to become a certified leadership coach. Our work together in those two years didn’t come close to the progress we made in eight weeks of focused coaching, though.

Benefits of coaching

Leadership coaches help executives and other professionals navigate the unique challenges of leading teams of people with varied personalities and lived experiences. For those who have led teams before, it’s not just delegating and dictating. It’s mentoring, hand-holding, strategizing, and balancing sometimes very conflicting personalities. That work takes practice and intention. 

Leadership coaches can also assist with problem solving, identifying management styles, navigating change or transitions, and developing emotional intelligence or self-awareness. 

My coach worked with me on my emotional intelligence. Using tools and resources she provided, I was able to remove emotion from decision making and conflict resolution to focus on facts and perspectives. 

For example, I was consistently experiencing frustration when managing projects. Under her guidance, we identified the issue as a lack of expectation setting in the project’s early development stages. Instead of my lizard brain personalizing the issue, I was not only able to take the emotion out of it, but was also able to take control of changing the narrative and a project’s trajectory in the future. 

The best leadership coaches don’t seek to offer blanket advice, but instead provide resources, reflection and perspective on your particular situation or professional trajectory. There’s a difference between offering a boilerplate solution to a problem versus actively listening in sessions to guide your thinking, and collaborate on a plan that will work for you and your unique situation. 

Choosing a coach 

The art of coaching as a professional development tool is an important advancement, but its social acceptance also means the market is saturated with coaches—legitimate and not. 

The number one criteria in an effective coaching relationship is going to be whether or not it’s a good fit. You’re going to get the most out of sessions if you and the coach click, share the same values, and communicate effectively. 

This could mean you choose a coach from Instagram who shares the same philosophy—but has no formal certification or leadership development background. However, my personal advice is to find someone with experience coaching and/or someone who is certified, and has a reliable client list and clear methodology or approach to sessions. Some coaches offer introductory sessions for minimal-to-no cost in order to get to know them and see if it’s a fit. But if not, look through their website for credentials, philosophy, or client lists. See if you can ask for referrals or testimonials, read articles they’ve written, or talk to former clients. 

Hiring independently versus through your organization 

The clear benefit to asking your employer if they would consider providing you with a leadership coach is that they will foot the bill—but be prepared for extra considerations if you choose to go through your organization. 

Prior to signing up with a coach that’s being paid by your organization, make sure you both sign a confidentiality agreement. Also, be cautious if sessions start to veer away from your goals and perspectives and move toward the organization’s goals. Coaches should be there to help you excel—not further the organization’s agenda. 

I’ve been discussing individual coaching to this point, but there are coaches that lead group sessions for teams. These coaches can work with teams together and/or individually to identify barriers to communication and success by building teamwork, leadership, and communication with all team members. If your team is experiencing serious breakdowns, you might suggest hiring a coach to your supervisor.

Are you ready to work with a coach?

Leadership coaches are incredibly valuable and can help you achieve big goals or navigate tricky situations. But, just like therapy, you have to be ready to put in the work. Coaching requires deep reflection as well as an openness to learning and growth.

If you’re willing to be vulnerable, dig deep into your professional self, and admit you don’t always show up as the best leader and teammate you want to be, you might be ready for a coach.

Krystina spends her days in donor engagement and communication for a healthcare organization in Baltimore, which she considers the best job in fundraising, and she is also deeply committed to volunteering in Baltimore City. But her favorite roles are wife and mom. When she is not adventuring with her two daughters, she is in perpetual search of a really good cup (read: pot) of coffee or mastering her life goal of crafting the perfect charcuterie board.