by Krystina Wales

The holiday season is fast approaching, and there’s nothing worse than having to fight through the crowds the day of your holiday get-together or your work party—finding yourself staring at storefronts, not knowing what to gift your friends, colleagues, or loved ones. It can be tough (even when you aren’t pressed for time!) to think of something meaningful that will let someone know you thought of them.

Everyone has a love language: a way to show you care that speaks to them personally. The five love languages (acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch) are a concept introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman, and were originally intended to be used by couples to help them identify how they tend to give and receive love. Having this information can help couples strengthen their relationship by encouraging them to speak to their partner in their preferred love language—but the benefits of applying it aren’t limited to romantic relationships. If you can identify the love language “spoken” by your giftee, here are some ideas that will help narrow down the perfect-gift search. 

Love language #1: Acts of Service

Hardworking women often focus so much on their work and achieving their goals that they let menial, everyday tasks fall by the wayside. This is a great opportunity to pick up where she left off: hire a cleaning lady, send a freezer meal, or sign her up for a grocery delivery service to take some of those adult responsibilities off her plate, so she can free her to brain to focus on the big picture. If you live with her, something as simple as making her coffee in the morning or prepping her smoothie ingredients can go a long way to making her feel special. 

Those who love acts of service are sometimes charged by being of service to others. Suggest you share a volunteering experience with a cause you know is dear to her heart. The act of serving others—and doing it together—will be a great gift.

Love language #2: Receiving Gifts

The art of gifting for a female friend or colleague who likes receiving gifts is to try and focus on items that are a personal treat. Get her something she wouldn’t normally buy herself to make her feel extra special. She might really need new socks, but going beyond practicality to get her a cashmere sweater will be a winner. The more personal, the better! Try and put as much thought into it as possible to let her know you pay attention. It could be as simple as knowing how she takes her tea or knowing where she shops for those perfect work pants.

Encourage her to invest in herself and her business by getting her something that goes beyond the day-to-day. Does she need new professional headshots? Could you send her to a professional development conference? Get her an executive coach? It will make her feel good to know you not only care for her, but also what she does.

Love language #3: Quality Time

It can be hard for women to find time for friends or relationships in a schedule filled with side hustles and variable working hours. Taking time away from work can feel like a luxury, but that’s what those who love quality time need in order to decompress.

Block off time on her calendar and make a plan to do something fun. It could be a walk, a coffee, or a drink at the new restaurant down the block. Whatever the location, make it an intentional plan and make the space for it, for her. Go the extra mile and get her a planner for 2020 where you have pre-blocked off time the two of you can spend together.

Sometimes for the hustlin’ babe—especially introverts—spending time with herself is the best way to recharge. Consider getting her a yearly subscription to a meditation app, watching her kids so she can go for a run or get her nails done, or just giving her some time (free from distractions) to think and work creatively—or just relax!

Love language #4: Words of Affirmation

Sometimes there’s nothing better than hearing all the things you’re doing well. Last Christmas, I wrote handwritten letters to some of my closest friends and mentors to let them know how much I value our relationship and why I admire them. It was one of the best gifts I’ve given and they’ve received.

Try writing to your giftee. That extra effort is sure to make her feel special. If the relationship isn’t quite that cozy, consider promoting her hustle on social media. Giving her and her work a shout-out to your community is an amazing way to help her market her business and give her some love. If you know of an award or recognition platform you could nominate her for, consider submitting. She might not get it until after the holidays, but the act of submitting lets her know she is appreciated and noticed.

Encourage those who love words of affirmation to affirm themselves by giving them the tools to do so. Buy her a journal—either blank or guided—to encourage her to remind herself daily of her goals (but also her achievements).

Love language #5: Physical Touch

Go ahead and hug your friend if you’re close like that. But if not, those who loves physical touch will appreciate a nice massage, manicure, or any pampering experience. Consider purchasing her new slippers or a cozy sweater—something that feels comfy on her skin will give her that same feeling to brighten her day. Help her start her day off right with that face wash you know she likes. Pay her entry into an upcoming 5K if she likes to run, or pre-purchase some yoga or spin classes if that’s more her thing.

Whatever the love language, use the holiday season to tell a woman you know and love that you see and love her for who she is.

Krystina spends her days in donor engagement and communication for a healthcare organization in Baltimore, which she considers the best job in fundraising, and she is also deeply committed to volunteering in Baltimore City. But her favorite roles are wife and mom. When she is not adventuring with her two daughters, she is in perpetual search of a really good cup (read: pot) of coffee or mastering her life goal of crafting the perfect charcuterie board.