The Shy Gal's Guide to Owning Your Extroversion
Written by Mara Strobel-Lanka
Photo by Verance Photography
Almost a year ago, our CEO, Chelsea, broke the news to me that I am, in fact, an extrovert. I found the news completely shocking. Shy little me? The one who’s content to sit quietly at home with her tabby cat? The one who’s spent her whole life proudly sporting her “introvert” title on the same shelf as her Harry Potter collection? These questions bore reluctantly on my mind as I connected some other, neglected dots.
While I’m never the first one to make an introduction, I always leave conversations with new connections feeling energized and refreshed. After a long workday, I often feel restless and am anxious to wind down at a happy hour with girlfriends. I thrive in collaborative meetings where I can flesh out ideas alongside other minds, and the adrenaline rush from large events keeps up for days afterward. Looks like an extrovert, sounds like an extrovert, who knew—I’m an extrovert.
Since that first diagnosis, I’ve adopted the description with alarming enthusiasm. It’s given me the insight and power to capitalize on my personality and recognize when and how it needs to press the reset button. Here are the habits I’ve adopted (and dropped) to make sure my extroversion helps me be the best hustlin’ babe I can be:
Do…
Make the most of your after-work energy burst by calling your mom, cranking out neglected chores, or clocking in some time at your side hustle(s).
Don’t…
Use said energy burst as an excuse to drink or spend unnecessary money. It’s a common occurrence for extroverts to crave some after-five socializing when a busy workday leaves us refreshed and refueled. But if we dealt out $10 for drinks every time the day ended with a good meeting, we’d be broke and bound for a breakdown.
Do…
Schedule regular meetings with colleagues. As extroverts, we thrive on collaboration. Don’t be afraid to hop on a call or take a cohort out to coffee. Outings such as these will kick your creative energy into gear and help pull your best ideas to the surface.
Don’t...
Let a dull work week leave you in a rut. Because extroverts are often reliant on outside sources for energy, a not-so-exciting workweek can sometimes lead us to create not-so-exciting work. Anticipate these ruts ahead of time, and try to reboot yourself with a short online class or a quick call to your career mentor.
Do...
Volunteer to be a part of something bigger than yourself. Not all workweeks can be exciting and not all weekends can be filled with invigorating talks, so put your sociable needs and attributes to good use: Join a local organization, volunteer some time to your favorite cause or search for charitable events happening in your community.
Don’t...
Overbook yourself. I often look at the one empty date on a full work calendar and see a perfect opportunity to meet a friend for coffee, catch a music show across town or host a dinner party in my apartment. Those all might be dreamy day-off activities, and they may even leave me with more energy, but they won’t leave me with time to regroup with myself or get my shit together before the next busy week.
Do…
Own your extroversion. Is there a big event coming up at work? Raise your hand and get on that committee. Missing your girlfriends? Invite them to attend an event for a cause you care about. Need a break from the cubicle? Tell your cohorts you’re making a coffee run and chat up your local barista.
Don’t…
Be afraid to say no. Just because we’re known for doing all the things, doesn’t mean we don’t run out of energy like everyone else. We may cherish our relationships and time with others, but we won’t serve anyone by neglecting ourselves. Make sure to break up every couple “going” RSVPs with a few “no thank yous.”
One year later, I’m still learning to navigate my extroversion in a healthy manner. Most days, it looks like I’m doing a better job than I actually am (thank you, social media), and the learning curve has been constant and completely exhausting. Luckily for me, I have an endless supply of ENFJ Google searches to aid in the learning process, a supportive lady-web of kickass women to turn to when I need to recharge and a whole career ahead of me to play this trait to my advantage.
Born and raised in Grand Rapids, Michigan, Mara is the Creative Director here at BWH and the Social & Systems Manager for Small Fox Media. Her passions include writing, sailing, camping, thinking of her next meal and planning her next dinner party. Find more of her work on her website.
