Never Stop Learning
by Nicki Wolfe
I was a “gifted” kid. Adults around me praised my intelligence and critical thinking abilities throughout my childhood. I skated through school fairly easily, without the need to work too hard or study too much. Programs and curricula for kids with above-average intelligence were not exactly prioritized in my rural Florida school system, so I was rarely met with much of a challenge.
This may sound like a dream, or even a brag, but instead it was a free pass to become lazy and apathetic when it came to pursuing nearly anything—be it admission to a prestigious college, a successful career, or even becoming proficient in any of my ever-rotating hobbies.
For example, I purchased my first guitar at age 8, and have never lived without a guitar in my house in the subsequent 30 years, but still play at a beginner level.
I am a perpetual underachiever.
Thirty-something years later, I found myself in quite a pickle. Needless to say, I never really lived up to all of that potential I supposedly possessed. Sure, I went to college, and even graduated, but at that young age, I had absolutely no clue how to choose a major that would help prepare me for anything at which I would be remotely successful.
I did have some ideas about becoming a writer way back then, but I naively thought majoring in journalism was only for those who wished to be newspaper reporters or local television anchors. I had my eye on writing for a fashion magazine, or maybe even Rolling Stone. If only I hadn’t been too egotistical to ever speak to an advisor, they may have been able to steer me in a better direction than the incredibly pretentious, utterly useless major I chose, practically out of a hat: philosophy.
Why, on God’s Green Earth, I chose philosophy will forever remain the big mystery of my life. Combined with the fact that by the time graduation was approaching, I loathed the thought of debating whether or not we were living in the matrix with the sad truth that my graduation date was in December 2007, minutes before the economy took an historic nosedive, and the recipe produces nothing short of a full-blown disaster.
I ended up spending my twenties and half of my thirties working in a succession of thankless retail and food service jobs, always just barely scraping by. I developed a rather grim outlook on the idea of ever becoming financially stable, much less successful. I truly believed I would work physically and emotionally demanding jobs that made me not want to wake up in the morning until I died.
My entire mindset changed the moment my first article was published in a local magazine. This opportunity was given to me because of the connections I had made in the service industry, and there is no denying that fact. I knew people who knew people, and I knew people who did the things I wanted to do.
Soon after, I started working as a freelance writer on the side. I took a major chance on myself and got an office job—something I could never see myself having the demeanor for. The job was highly clerical and in an industry I’m not much attracted to, but I was damn good at it.
I realized quickly I could in fact thrive in a more structured environment, and that realization blew the doors open for me. I began to believe in myself again. About a year into remote work (thanks to the pandemic), I realized I finally had enough time and resources to go back to school, pursuing a degree in a subject that actually spoke to me.
I am currently a remote student at the University of Florida, majoring in Advertising. It’s one of the most fulfilling endeavors I’ve ever embarked on, and boy do I look at college in a completely different light at 39 than I did at 22.
Every word I write, and every multiple-choice bubble I fill in, all seem to be of incredibly high importance to me now. My first time in college, I just did whatever it took to scrape by with passing grades. I was not focused, nor determined. I had no idea how invigorating it could feel to actually excel at something I was passionate about.
Now, my peers and classmates are mostly 15 or more years younger than me, and it shows in their discussion posts. I can’t help but feel so proud of them for doing the work I didn’t do when I was that age.
When this is over and I graduate with a Bachelor’s in Advertising, I will likely feel the best I have ever felt about myself. With any luck, it will help me on my journey to being creative for a living. It has already taught me so much about myself and what I am capable of.
All of this is to say: never give up on yourself, and never, ever stop learning.
Nicki is a San Francisco based freelance writer. She also works in Real Estate Operations for a Proptech startup from the comfort of her living room. Nicki's passion for travel and exploration is what drives her in every aspect of life. Outside of work, you can find her riding on the back of her partner's Vespa, drinking tiki cocktails, and planning her next adventure. Follow her on Instagram @nickigenevieve.
